What are my options?

Wed, 03 May 2023 11:04:59 GMT

What do I do with the ashes? What are my options?

With around 75% of funerals in the UK involving cremation, it can often be difficult to know what to do with ashes following the service.

Families don’t always know what to do with ashes immediately after saying goodbye to a loved one.

Understandably, some people are too distressed to think about it and there’s a risk that ashes end up in a kind of limbo situation. Rest assured that as your funeral director, we will always work with you to find the right solution.

It may be that you need a little bit of time to consider the most fitting resting place for the cremated remains. But there are a variety of options, which we’ve listed below in an effort to help guide your thinking (naturally, your and the deceased’s faith may have a bearing on how ashes are disposed of):

- Interment . This tends to involve burying the ashes in a cemetery or natural burial ground grave plot alongside another loved one, whether that be a spouse or a parent.

- Scattering in a garden of remembrance . Many crematoria have a garden of remembrance for the scattering of ashes. This can be carried out on your behalf by ourselves or the crematorium staff, or it’s usually possible to do the scattering yourself as part of a small ceremony.

- Scattering in a place which has special meaning to the deceased person. This is one of the most popular ways to dispose of ashes, as it’s rich in meaning and it can be comforting to know your loved one is somewhere that meant a lot to them, such as a beach or a park. However, it’s essential to check the landowner’s permission policy on ashes scattering before going ahead. Some sites require special permission. As your funeral director, we are happy to look into this on your behalf.

- Ashes into jewellery . A lovely way to keep part of your loved one close at all times is to have a small sample of their ashes incorporated into a piece of jewellery, which in turn can become a family heirloom, passed down through the generations. We work with partners which specialise in memorial jewellery and can advise if this option is of interest.

- Ashes into the ether . There are a range of options for disposing of ashes mechanically these days. For example, some heritage railway operators allow ashes to be placed in the firebox of their steam engines, meaning the ashes are spread along the track during a train journey. There are also companies that will take your loved one’s ashes into space, scattering them into the universe.

- Dispersal at sea . This has always been a popular option for individuals who have had a connection to the sea whether through service or having lived in a coastal location. Depending on where you live special arrangements may need to be made through the local authority or naval services.

- Fireworks . A relatively new form of dispersal but becoming increasingly popular is to create a custom firework to facilitate a spectacular tribute to your loved one.

- Under a memorial tree . If your loved one cared about nature, what better tribute than to bury their ashes under a newly planted tree in the garden?

- And Vinyly . A novel approach for music lovers is to have their ashes pressed into a vinyl recording of their choice. It could be a final message from the deceased, a soundtrack or any other recording. The ‘album cover’ can also be printed with pictures of your loved one. As with ashes into jewellery, this process does not require all of the ashes, so you will still need to think about scattering options for the remainder.

Some dos and don’ts for scattering ashes:

Scattering ashes can be one of the most comforting rituals in anyone’s grief journey. If you can establish your loved one’s final wishes before their death, then knowing their ashes have been safely delivered to their final resting place is sure to bring peace of mind.

But while it’s important to honour the deceased’s final wishes, it’s also essential to avoid any adverse impacts of scattering ashes in an inappropriate place.

The Environment Agency advises against scattering ashes within 1 km upstream of any areas where water is abstracted for drinking. It is also recommended that ashes aren’t scattered near marinas and that no other items are placed in the water.

Additionally, if you’re planning to take the ashes to another part of the world for scattering, we strongly recommend carrying them in hand luggage rather than checked baggage. The last thing you want is for your ashes to go missing with a lost suitcase.

In summary, there are lots of options for the dignified disposal of your loved one’s ashes. We are always happy to assist with any arrangements as part of our service.

Could direct cremation be the right option for me?

Sun, 02 Apr 2023 11:07:43 GMT

Could direct cremation be the right option for me?

There is a lot of confusion around the term direct cremation.

Many people believe this to be a new innovation when in fact, direct cremation has existed from the earliest days of a modern form of cremation being introduced to the United Kingdom in the early 20th century.

There are a number of reasons for the recent increase in the visibility of the option and sadly the main driver was the restrictions imposed by CoVid-19. We can be fairly sure that during that period of time a great many of us missed the opportunity to gather with family and friends to celebrate the life of someone no longer with us.

There may also be financial reasons for choosing an unattended funeral, particularly at a time when many are struggling with the cost of living.

However, we are still coming to understand the effects of that loss of family, friends and community support through a number of bereavement studies underway. What we do know from the families we serve is that the part of a funeral service most missed was the same for all families across the world, irrespective of culture or creed:those precious hours together before we say goodbye.

Another reason we’re perhaps more aware of direct cremations is the increase in venture capital companies investing in high profile providers. It feels as if every second TV advert is by another new startup offering no frills direct cremations.

Families don’t necessarily save money with such providers and it’s often the case that their loved one will be transported across the country to a remote crematorium. This makes it incredibly difficult to spend time with the deceased, or arrange a service if you did change your mind.

Sadly, there seems to be a misunderstanding that the choice of a direct cremation is the beginning and the end of a funeral, this is not the case.

When pre-planning or arranging an immediate funeral you will have a number of decisions to make, the first of which will be, burial or cremation. Within those two choices there are a number of options. For cremation you can opt to have an attended service at a crematorium or an unattended cremation, sometimes referred to as a ‘direct cremation’.

Whilst many of the high profile funeral providers limit their service to the collection of the deceased and return of ashes, family owned funeral directors extend the same options and quality of service as you would expect with a traditional cremation service or burial.

If you wish to have a ceremony, viewing, a particular choice of coffin or any other element of a traditional funeral, all you have to do is let us know. An unattended cremation is simply an option for the final part of the funeral.

To find out more about options for planning a funeral please feel free to contact us.

We’ll be happy to answer any questions you might have.

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What are my options?

What do I do with the ashes? What are my options?

Could direct cremation be the right option for me?

Could direct cremation be the right option for me?